As I write this, the lyrics "You don't know what you got till it's gone", seems appropriate. My hubby left to NYC for a four day off-site and a meeting on Friday in Bryn Mawr. The first time I really was able to see him was Friday at noon. We had a trial in our marriage a little while ago and since then we prescribe to the "three-strand" theory. Instead of each of us climbing through life using one rope, we combine our ropes together with God's rope to create a three strand rope, making our climb stronger, steadier, and not easily broken. He is more consistent with this than I am. I am a work in progress. I still revert to my stubborn ways once in a while and think I can do everything on my own. But this week made me realize how much I NEED to rely on this ALL the time. His absence was felt. It was 3 to my 1, the odds were stacked against me from the start. Let's add sickness to the mix, no sleep, bad weather, one less person to get folks to and from practice, cooking dinner, you get the idea. I really needed my BFF but I survived the week and managed to NOT eat dinner out (pat on the back), make all dentist appointments (Happy Dentists), work out once (NOT awesome!). When my husband returned home, I did put him to work, like, immediately, but there was some hero appreciation for all that he does.
Bella's sickness and snuggle needs kept me from being proactive with food preparation, new recipes, house cleaning (this is LOL for me, because this is always last on my list anyway), and my volunteer commitments. I realize these moments with Bella are an absolute blessing and they provide her comfort. I don't want to that for granted, ever! I know many Moms do not have this opportunity and would switch places with me in a heartbeat. I would not change this for the world, but I still felt that conflict to do more, like I mentioned in my previous post. On a great note I took Bella to the doctor. They took her stats and she is now in the normal BMI range vice obese. This significantly lowers her risk of hypertension and diabetes. She was already flagged borderline high blood pressure, the possibility of medicine to manage her blood pressure was discussed that is scary at 8 years old. We do not ever focus on weight or scale or numbers, only a "healthy lifestyle", the rest is falling into place naturally. That is one of the main reasons we took on this healthy lifestyle to give our kids a healthy advantage in life.
I tried to handle all of this in stride, and when my husband traveled regularly I could do all of this like a champ. What I realized was that I have come to rely on him and I am glad because that means that he is HOME! He is a part of all we do now..coaching sporting events, dinner, coffee in the morning, working out together, slipping away for lunches, midafternoon movies (shhhhh), and being a part of the community. So what am I about to confess?, I don't want to tell you...but I promised an honest representation* of a family going through a transformation. Here it is...I. Ate. (at) Five. Guys. I KNOW!!!! It was a burger with BACON...NO!!! and some fries...Oh the fat, sodium, calories!...but it was gooood. That is not the worst part, Ava was with me...Oh I felt awful!...but it did taste goooood. It was goooood but then it wasn't, after a little while I had enough, it was greasy and salty. I never noticed that before, but I think because I am eating a LOT less food like that the taste of fat and overly salted food is very recognizable. Ava also said, "Mommy these fries are salty"and we threw them away. That would never have happened before.
It happened. It's done. Start new week. I can completely fall off the wagon or show my kids how to bounce back with even more fervor than before. Take that bull by the horns... or eat cake. Wait...we can eat cake (see post "mom who cried dog")! :)
* I can not divulge all secrets, I must maintain some mystery to keep you coming back for more! :)
Mama Out!
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